This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
As a natural-minded parent, I have the option to make war over the food my son eats. I could err on the side of militarism and demand he ingest only the most wholesome, organic, locally-farmed, sustainably produced cuisine available. I also can also make healthy choices for myself while deciding to remain patient, knowing my child will tend to emulate my behaviors given time and nurturing. I choose the latter road.
I've written before on the challenges of working full time while subscribing to a natural parenting philosophy. One of the daily struggles I face is that my son stays with his grandparents during the day, and he eats whatever they feed him. I try my best: I'll pack a bag full of fruit leather, organic yogurt, diced fruit and vegetables... and wind up bringing a lot of it back home with me in the evening because "he wouldn't eat it". I could pick a fight and cause enmity between myself and my in-laws over the matter if I wanted to. I can force-feed healthy foods to my son if I choose. I do not.
In my gentle mother's heart, I know that the best way for me to teach my son about good choices is to show him how by making good choices for myself.
Eric and I have not always been able to shop as wholesomely as we wanted to shop. I worked in a whole foods market for a while in college: it was a second job, and one I loved and was sad to leave behind. I knew from experience that sustainable options for stocking your pantry are available, but they are expensive. I was educated enough to know that the cheap, processed, GMO-rich food that Eric and I ate when we first got married was not good for us. We were young, had just bought our first house (a modest, two-bedroom number with rotten wood and lead paint, to be exact), worked overtime to make ends meet, and simply could not afford to eat anything but Hamburger Helper for a while.
We have been exceedingly blessed over the past few years. By now, after five years together and four years married, we have paid down a lot of our personal debts and we are making a bit more money. A good portion of our income now goes to getting food that is better for our bodies and for the environment. Recently, we have added a twice-monthly sojourn to the whole food market to our routine. We'll eat from the cafe and take our time shopping: browsing: trying samples: breathing in the aroma of the spices and the fresh foods. Grocery shopping is enjoyable those weeks, and not so much a hated chore.
Many people don't have the option to "go all the way" with an organic and whole food diet. Unfortunately, since the prices have to be so high, the really good foods are out of reach for a majority of people. It helps to know how to shop for sustainable grocery products. There is a lot of very frightening information about what genetically modified food can do to you and your kids. The problem is systemic, and not something that the handful of people that can afford to shop at Whole Foods can do anything about. What needs to happen is a food revolution that starts when people begin to rebel against mass farming practices. I can't pretend to be able to organize said protest movement, but I can tell you this:
I refuse to let my son grow up in persistent fear.
I will pick my battles when it comes to dealing with the relatives that are giving us free childcare.
I will make healthy choices for my own home in faith that my child (as children do) will learn from my example about what constitutes good food.
I will not force my son to eat something that he doesn't want to eat!
I will work actively to foster an appreciation for good food in my son by involving him with food preparation as he is able and demonstrating to him how much his father and I enjoy what we eat.
I believe that these steps are the gentlest way for my son to learn about eating well: for himself and for the environment.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
- Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
- Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
- "Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
- Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
- The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
- A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
- The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
- Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
- In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
- Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
- Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
- Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
- The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
- Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
- Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
- Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
- My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
- Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
- Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
- Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
- Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
- Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
- The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
- Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
- Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
- Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
- My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
- Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
- Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
- learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.
- The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
- Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a "high-needs" child.
- Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
- Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
- teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
- 5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler's Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
- Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
- How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime... — Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes...
- Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
- How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
- My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
- Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
- The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
- Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children's most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
- Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won't you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
- Grandma Rose's Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
- Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
- Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
- Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
- 10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
- The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
- Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
- 50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
- A 4-year-old's smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
- Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
- Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she's trying to foster her son's trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
- A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.


Thank you for all of the extra resources - I'm on my own journey of learning about food and eating sustainably, it's such a process! And you're right mama - you are doing such wonderful, gentle things by providing your son with the tools and a great example. He'll appreciate your efforts.
ReplyDeleteYour list of goals at the end is brilliant! At it's most basic, food is fuel, and if you don't have enough, it frankly doesn't matter if it's GMO or not. For those of us who can really relate to only being able to afford certain foods, all we can do is try our best each day to make healthy choices for our families. It's clear that you're doing an excellent job at gently teaching your son about food. Keep on!
ReplyDeleteI am impressed by your ability not to pick your battles with your in-laws. that would drive me nuts! I need advice for how to handle my neighbours whose kids my little one plays with and who feed her crappy food. I find it embarrassing to speak up that she can't have that stuff. I don't want them to feel bad nor do I want to ignore my values around others. I have said a couple times not to let her have candies or chocolate milk, but they do it because they feel they are being nice. Argh! I do lead a good example at home. Perhaps I should just concentrate on that. :)
ReplyDeleteIt really is such a tough balance. You sound really grounded in your approach, and I love what you're passing on.
ReplyDeleteI am amazed by all of the similarity in so many of the posts about food and what we hope for our kids that we either didn't get or got too much of. Love your steps!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I'm a big fan of modeling the behaviors I want to teach my son, then having some faith that he'll pick them up. Like you, we're not in a position to eat all the foods we'd like to, but I try to find balance over time.
ReplyDelete